hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
one might say we're banned from that church
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
