it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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