I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
