physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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