your thong is hanging out like whoa
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
