Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
