I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
