we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
