ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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