You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
