No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
