yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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