Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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