called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
