I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
