I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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