how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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