can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
