there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
