and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
