Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my shit smells like andre
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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