tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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