I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
