At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
ttyl tear gas
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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