Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
