sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize