Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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