What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
