My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
