Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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