i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
