Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
