I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
