that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
