hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
