your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize