just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
