NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
