I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
