Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Randomize
