she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just forgot I was standing up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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