Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i believe in u and ur pee
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