shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
