Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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