Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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