we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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