I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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