before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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