If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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