If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
