Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
