It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
