do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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