I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
