so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
