Duck Duck Cougar?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
