It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
