I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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