I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I smell stomach acid.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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