Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
