i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I could make wine with my vomit
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
