where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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