If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
