I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
