oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
