apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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