so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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