She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
