True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
