If i come over, it means nothing
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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