we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize