Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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