I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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